Unwelcome Tenant

Nathan often tells me I have the nose of a bloodhound. All I can say is that I'm sensitive about how things smell. Unfortunately, our family room is rather malodorous at the moment. If any of you come to my house, I promise that I change poopy diapers, bathe my children, empty the garbage, and run my in-sink-erator. The problem is an unwelcome tenant in our chimney.

So, last Wednesday as I was getting David ready for his first day of preschool, we suddenly heard some noise in the fireplace. I'm thinking to myself, "Great. A squirrel in the chimney and I have to leave in 5 minutes to take David to school." Daniel clung to me as the rattling continued, and David begged me for a flashlight so he could check it out. What a goof. As you may recall, I have my fireplace covered with insulating foam to prevent drafts. I pulled the insulation away to make sure the squirrel was not actually in the fireplace (true), and then put everything back in place, let the cat in the house, and left for the morning, hoping everything worked out in some way or another without having a carcass on my beige area rug when I got home.

When I returned in the afternoon, our tenant was still rattling away above the fireplace. I blocked off exits with baby gates, secured the kids out of the room, brought the cat into the room, opened the back door (cat promptly exited when she heard him rattle), and opened the flue, ready for a frantic squirrel to burst into my family room. Nothing. I think there's a grate or mesh or something to prevent critters from entering the fireplace through the chimney. How considerate, until I need to get one out!

I next did an internet search on how to get squirrels out of chimneys. The solution is actually pretty simple: lower a rope down the chimney so the squirrel could climb out. We had just two problems--no ladder to get up there, and no rope even if we did have a ladder. Going out and buying those things for a squirrel really was not a financial option this month. We called Pest Control to see if they could retrieve the squirrel. Yes they could, for a modest fee of $230, plus an additional $140 for this that and the other. Definitely not a fiscal option for a squirrel! After hearing that price tag, Nathan said the squirrel could stay there and enjoy his Darwin award for falling down the chimney in the first place.


And he did.

The rattling stopped during the night.

It was 90 degrees outside the past three days.

And he smells.


I caught my first whiffs of him this afternoon. I moved my ionic breeze air purifier over by the fireplace, sprayed air freshener in the room, burned a cinnamon spice candle, and incense to give my sensitive nostrils something else to think about. I hope he stops being noticeable soon!